Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
