just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
