i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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