Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize