1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
