She is in my trunk
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
