just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
