my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize