Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
