Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
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