Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
