Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Randomize
