We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
is that a dick in a sweater?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
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