you guys were way drunker than both of me
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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