Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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