i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
