I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
