Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
