The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize