Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
