I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
