Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Welp...herpes.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
where are you?
Hypothermia
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize