Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
