I feel like I'm in dance class right now
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
