I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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