Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
