well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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