doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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