A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
