Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
