When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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