Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Shame is for Republicans.
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