Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
