He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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