I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
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