too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
