So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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