she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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