Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize