Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
