Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
