is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm bleeding and have questions
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