Already got asked if we're dating
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
