This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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