I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
