im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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