it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
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