just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
