Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
