You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize