I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
