I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
