He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
