im having a threesome with these popsicles
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
