I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
