Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
he quoted the bible to break up with me
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize