we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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