Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
