Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize