I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
