This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
