So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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